That's it! When my eyes caught the view of Kaabah, my tears started rolling down my cheeks. Alhamdulillah..Here I am ya Allah. Here I am, for You..only for YOU.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Where I wanna be...
Subhanallah...how I really miss this holy place. I wish I could be there again soon to devote my time, my heart and soul to Allah. That's where I wanna be again. No word can describe the feeling when I first stepped my two feet in Masjidil Haram...when I walked inside the mosque...my heart was beating so fast. Masya Allah...then I realised I was walking faster and faster, and my eyes searching for the Holy Kaabah!! I've seen it on tv, I've seen it in pictures. Please Allah..let me see it now, here..
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Lost and Found
I lost it and finally I found it back. For over a year, I walked through that path looking for it. So dark that I could not see the far end, but I kept walking and searching. Many times I looked back, contemplating to stop and turn. Many times I stumbled and fell on my knees. Indeed it was dark, and all I could hear was my own breath and tears. I couldn't see it but I felt it so close to me. And so I kept walking through the darkness.
I lost it and thought I could never find it back. I lost myself for far too long that I never I thought I could be here again. Alhamdulillah, the darkness didn't kill me. What I've lost I've now found. Surely it was dark, but I was holding my heart with me while searching for my soul. It's all with the mercy of Allah the Almighty.
Sincerely,
Adique
Monday, September 19, 2011
Listen to My Heart..
Ya Allah The Almighty..
I have gone through so much pain and sadness. 3 MONTHS have passed...but the pain is still there. The hurt is so unbearable and the frustration is too much for this weak heart and soul. Puas mencari kekuatan, tapi kekecewaan juga yang bertandang.
I have not been my normal self for uncountable days. Every second is pain, pain and pain. I have tried to find in my heart to forgive and forget, but this human called ME is so full with revenge, anger, hatred, sadness, frustrations...and nothing is able to change that yet. Wanting to go away, but my life is here. I'm taking my own ways to deal with this tsunami. I'm hurting myself more, just to be strong in the eyes of the others.
Ya Allah,
Ampunkan aku kerana menjadi hamba yang kecewa dan penuh sesalan. Sesak jiwa menahan duka, tapi apakan daya.. Although this is not the best thing to do, but this is the best I can do..for now. Please..Ya Allah..please do not stop pouring your love and guidance upon me. I'm certainly not a good slave of Yours. I've let myself drown in the test that YOU have given.
Somehow, in this broken heart of mine, I know.. that I can turn to you for the ETERNAL LOVE.
I have gone through so much pain and sadness. 3 MONTHS have passed...but the pain is still there. The hurt is so unbearable and the frustration is too much for this weak heart and soul. Puas mencari kekuatan, tapi kekecewaan juga yang bertandang.
I have not been my normal self for uncountable days. Every second is pain, pain and pain. I have tried to find in my heart to forgive and forget, but this human called ME is so full with revenge, anger, hatred, sadness, frustrations...and nothing is able to change that yet. Wanting to go away, but my life is here. I'm taking my own ways to deal with this tsunami. I'm hurting myself more, just to be strong in the eyes of the others.
Ya Allah,
Ampunkan aku kerana menjadi hamba yang kecewa dan penuh sesalan. Sesak jiwa menahan duka, tapi apakan daya.. Although this is not the best thing to do, but this is the best I can do..for now. Please..Ya Allah..please do not stop pouring your love and guidance upon me. I'm certainly not a good slave of Yours. I've let myself drown in the test that YOU have given.
Somehow, in this broken heart of mine, I know.. that I can turn to you for the ETERNAL LOVE.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Hong Kong 18-21 Feb 2011
Alright, this was 4 months back.. It was definitely one of the most beautiful family vacation we've ever had. Everyone of us had a great time and we're still talking and dreaming about it...
The 4 days 3 nites trip was just right, not too long nor too short for us to complete the places of highlights in Hong Kong. Disneyland, Ocean Park, The Peak, Soho & the longest escalator, the night markets, Avenue of Stars...hmm what else ya..?
The hotel was good, we took two rooms at Dorsett Seaview Hotel and yeah, it was close to everything. Even the nite market was just behind our hotel, making it so impossible not to go down and SHOP!! Food was not a problem despite being our biggest worries at first. We had nasi beriyani & roti nan everyday without fail. It is pricey, of course..every meal would be about RM100 -130 for the 5 of us but hey..it's worth it! Sedap and guaranteed halal... there were many halal restaurants near Kowloon Mosque ;-) Seven11 is everywhere along the streets, so setakat nak beli mineral water, chocolates or sweets..no problemo..
The best part: Their public transportation was fantastic and way...way ahead of Malaysia. Their MTR system was just amazing, it connects you to basically every part of Hong Kong. Naik bus pun senang, and all those moving around were made easier as we had the Octopus Cards. So easy and convenient that you can hardly see the Hong Kong people driving. Jalan tak sesak macam KL...where most people terpaksa drive sebab public transportation TERUK!! Resulting to scenes where we can see dalam satu kereta hanya ada 1 orang inside it, that's the driver himself. Mana jalanraya tak sesak...
The 4 days 3 nites trip was just right, not too long nor too short for us to complete the places of highlights in Hong Kong. Disneyland, Ocean Park, The Peak, Soho & the longest escalator, the night markets, Avenue of Stars...hmm what else ya..?
The hotel was good, we took two rooms at Dorsett Seaview Hotel and yeah, it was close to everything. Even the nite market was just behind our hotel, making it so impossible not to go down and SHOP!! Food was not a problem despite being our biggest worries at first. We had nasi beriyani & roti nan everyday without fail. It is pricey, of course..every meal would be about RM100 -130 for the 5 of us but hey..it's worth it! Sedap and guaranteed halal... there were many halal restaurants near Kowloon Mosque ;-) Seven11 is everywhere along the streets, so setakat nak beli mineral water, chocolates or sweets..no problemo..
The best part: Their public transportation was fantastic and way...way ahead of Malaysia. Their MTR system was just amazing, it connects you to basically every part of Hong Kong. Naik bus pun senang, and all those moving around were made easier as we had the Octopus Cards. So easy and convenient that you can hardly see the Hong Kong people driving. Jalan tak sesak macam KL...where most people terpaksa drive sebab public transportation TERUK!! Resulting to scenes where we can see dalam satu kereta hanya ada 1 orang inside it, that's the driver himself. Mana jalanraya tak sesak...
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Ouchh!!
Picture 1:My swolen ankle...
Picture 2:This is after the plaster treatment by Dr. Mazlan, the orthopaedic at KPJ Kajang.
I really hope with all my heart that my ankle will be fully healed by the time we remove the plaster@cement next week (30th June). I need to be back on my feet again for our honeymoon.. tersangat la tak cool kalau kena ronda Amsterdam pakai tongkat ;-)
Tragedi di Jakarta
Masya Allah...this trip to Jakarta has left me with 1001 memories indeed. On May 17th (that was a public holiday - Wesak Day), I took the last AirAsia flight to Jakarta for another working trip.
Upon arriving Jakarta Airport pun something has gone wrong already. Pak Boni (our Jakarta office driver) who was supposed to fetch me did not turn up at all. After my 20th (I counted..) attempt to call him, baru la dia angkat dgn terkejut beruknya when I said I have waited for almost an hour. So to cut the story short, I had to take a taxi to my hotel...
Masa check in, the reception girl said that they are going to upgrade my room to a Triple Executive Room. Mmm, what on earth for? I'll be alone, girl... uh, never mind. No time for further questions...i'm too tired for that now.
So, that nite..untuk menghilangkan cuak di hati..I slept on the King bed and my luggage slept on that single bed :-)
Pak Boni picked me up from the hotel...beratus2 kali he apologised for not waiting at the airport. He said, he will be scolded if the bosses knew about this. Kenapa pulak nak marah Pak Boni kalau message untuk menjemput tidak sampai? Seems that ada miscommunication among them about my arrival. Kesian sungguh tengok Pak Boni...I felt sorry for him walaupun semalam memang la bengang. So I decided not to tell anyone in the office what happened. I gave my widest & most sincere smile and that helped me through with lots of work done!
After work, after being told that Pak Boni dah stand by kat lobby...off I went. Keluar je dari lift together with the rest of the people (ramai jugak..time balik office, kan), I headed straight to the lobby. Masa nak turun tangga tu, entah macam mana...agghhhhh....AKU JATUH!!! OMG, at first tak rasa apa2..just terkejut & bingung...blurr, terkulat2. Then I realised, my shoe...my left shoe is gone!! Haaa? Mana dia kasutku? "Ibu nggak apa-apa? Bisa bangun? Kasutnya..di bawah mobil itu.." Errr...i heard a lady's voice asking, but didn't have the "face" to even look. I said "I'm ok. Thanks so much. Terima kasih ya, buk.." Then this guy got out of his car and helped me to get the shoe from underneath his car. Maaaaak, malunya...
Maka bermula la episod kesakitanku. That night, I was in so much pain that I cried, and cried and couldn't close my eyes to catch any sleep. I was so sure that I broke my ankle!
Pagi, I moved from my bed to the toilet, then to get dressed on the study chair. Nasib baik ada that chair ada wheels... and I almost crawled to breakfast. Instead of taking my food (buffet, kan), the waiters helped me get my food & juices. Didn't eat much, though.. And when Pak Boni finally came to fetch me, I was limping all the way.
At the office, Rini suggested that we go for urut. She knows someone near her house who can massage. But before that we decided to go to the hospital to check if there's any fractures at all. Alhamdulillah...the xray shows no broken bones or fractures. From the hospital, we went straight to Pak Abbas' house in Cililitan, a small town in Jakarta Timur. Pak Abbas and his wife were very kind. The massage was not so painful as it was done so professionally..Kruuup... kraaaap.. haha...macam tu la bunyi bila Pak Abbas membetulkan my sendi2 yang terpeleot tuh!! Pak Abbas said "Minta pada Allah ya..supaya sembuh. Saya tidak bisa, hanya Allah yang bisa menyembuhkan.." He's such a humble person..may Allah bless him all the time for his good deeds. After thanking them both, we headed to Rini's house to get some ginger paste to wrap my ankle. Pak Abbas said that will help to heal the swollen ankle faster.
As we reached Rini's house, her mum was already grinding the ginger. After a warm hello to each other, she quickly pasted the ginger paste onto my ankle and wrapped it with a white cloth. Alhamdulillah...I met all these nice people at a place so far from home. They have all been so kind, caring and helpful although we have never met before. I'm so deeply touched with the love they have...sedih bila ingat that I may not be seeing them again...
It's my last day here. I'll be taking the last flight home. Alhamdulillah, somehow I have completed a big chunk of my work during this short and "tragic" visit.. Thanks to Ibu Ida and Ibu Fira for treating me to a great Japanese lunch at Sushigroove. Ibu Fira insisted to drive although the restaurant is only a walking distance away ;-)
When we touched down at LCCT, kena turun tangga plane!! Ouhh.. ouhh..1 step, 2 step..ouhh..
I did it. But then...terus terkelepot...dah tak boleh jalan dah. The next thing I knew, I was on a wheelchair....and was pushed all the way through the custom, picked up the luggage, to the taxi ticketing counter and..until I boarded the taxi... I must say BRAVO to AirAsia for having such great staff & such a great service.
Am so happy to be home again...my kids were waiting at the gate when arrived. Z was away in Terengganu when I reached home. But he called several times that night to say that he loves me.. ;-)
Dalam hati ada bunga..
Upon arriving Jakarta Airport pun something has gone wrong already. Pak Boni (our Jakarta office driver) who was supposed to fetch me did not turn up at all. After my 20th (I counted..) attempt to call him, baru la dia angkat dgn terkejut beruknya when I said I have waited for almost an hour. So to cut the story short, I had to take a taxi to my hotel...
Masa check in, the reception girl said that they are going to upgrade my room to a Triple Executive Room. Mmm, what on earth for? I'll be alone, girl... uh, never mind. No time for further questions...i'm too tired for that now.
So, that nite..untuk menghilangkan cuak di hati..I slept on the King bed and my luggage slept on that single bed :-)
Pak Boni picked me up from the hotel...beratus2 kali he apologised for not waiting at the airport. He said, he will be scolded if the bosses knew about this. Kenapa pulak nak marah Pak Boni kalau message untuk menjemput tidak sampai? Seems that ada miscommunication among them about my arrival. Kesian sungguh tengok Pak Boni...I felt sorry for him walaupun semalam memang la bengang. So I decided not to tell anyone in the office what happened. I gave my widest & most sincere smile and that helped me through with lots of work done!
After work, after being told that Pak Boni dah stand by kat lobby...off I went. Keluar je dari lift together with the rest of the people (ramai jugak..time balik office, kan), I headed straight to the lobby. Masa nak turun tangga tu, entah macam mana...agghhhhh....AKU JATUH!!! OMG, at first tak rasa apa2..just terkejut & bingung...blurr, terkulat2. Then I realised, my shoe...my left shoe is gone!! Haaa? Mana dia kasutku? "Ibu nggak apa-apa? Bisa bangun? Kasutnya..di bawah mobil itu.." Errr...i heard a lady's voice asking, but didn't have the "face" to even look. I said "I'm ok. Thanks so much. Terima kasih ya, buk.." Then this guy got out of his car and helped me to get the shoe from underneath his car. Maaaaak, malunya...
Maka bermula la episod kesakitanku. That night, I was in so much pain that I cried, and cried and couldn't close my eyes to catch any sleep. I was so sure that I broke my ankle!
Pagi, I moved from my bed to the toilet, then to get dressed on the study chair. Nasib baik ada that chair ada wheels... and I almost crawled to breakfast. Instead of taking my food (buffet, kan), the waiters helped me get my food & juices. Didn't eat much, though.. And when Pak Boni finally came to fetch me, I was limping all the way.
At the office, Rini suggested that we go for urut. She knows someone near her house who can massage. But before that we decided to go to the hospital to check if there's any fractures at all. Alhamdulillah...the xray shows no broken bones or fractures. From the hospital, we went straight to Pak Abbas' house in Cililitan, a small town in Jakarta Timur. Pak Abbas and his wife were very kind. The massage was not so painful as it was done so professionally..Kruuup... kraaaap.. haha...macam tu la bunyi bila Pak Abbas membetulkan my sendi2 yang terpeleot tuh!! Pak Abbas said "Minta pada Allah ya..supaya sembuh. Saya tidak bisa, hanya Allah yang bisa menyembuhkan.." He's such a humble person..may Allah bless him all the time for his good deeds. After thanking them both, we headed to Rini's house to get some ginger paste to wrap my ankle. Pak Abbas said that will help to heal the swollen ankle faster.
As we reached Rini's house, her mum was already grinding the ginger. After a warm hello to each other, she quickly pasted the ginger paste onto my ankle and wrapped it with a white cloth. Alhamdulillah...I met all these nice people at a place so far from home. They have all been so kind, caring and helpful although we have never met before. I'm so deeply touched with the love they have...sedih bila ingat that I may not be seeing them again...
It's my last day here. I'll be taking the last flight home. Alhamdulillah, somehow I have completed a big chunk of my work during this short and "tragic" visit.. Thanks to Ibu Ida and Ibu Fira for treating me to a great Japanese lunch at Sushigroove. Ibu Fira insisted to drive although the restaurant is only a walking distance away ;-)
When we touched down at LCCT, kena turun tangga plane!! Ouhh.. ouhh..1 step, 2 step..ouhh..
I did it. But then...terus terkelepot...dah tak boleh jalan dah. The next thing I knew, I was on a wheelchair....and was pushed all the way through the custom, picked up the luggage, to the taxi ticketing counter and..until I boarded the taxi... I must say BRAVO to AirAsia for having such great staff & such a great service.
Am so happy to be home again...my kids were waiting at the gate when arrived. Z was away in Terengganu when I reached home. But he called several times that night to say that he loves me.. ;-)
Dalam hati ada bunga..
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
My busiest day..
I took leave today (which I applied at a very last minute yesterday) to run some errands. Time is running short before Nayli's registration at the university next week. OMG! My daughter's going to uni already!! I can't be that old...!??
Alhamdulillah, she made it to UITM to do Business Studies...as she had wished to. I'm ok when she decided to turn down another offer to do matrix programme far north in Perlis. Not so much because of the distance..but because I knew she didn't want to do accountancy. Dia pun figure phobia macam her mom ;-)and that's alright!
Having planned my itineraries well, I have managed to do so much today and am so impressed with myself. First thing in the morning, we went to do her medical check-up at Kajang Medical Centre and paid only RM60 for the whole procedure including X-ray which took us less than an hour!! I thought it was gonna be longer and cost me more than a hundred ringgit...
Then, off we go to buy her other things...like the sports attire, her shoes, the lingeries, brooches for her shawls, a pair of jeans, shirts, etc. etc. Saved some there and spent much more here...sigh ** that's life..
Quickly drove to Standard Chartered to pay my credit card bill, and stopped by at my tailor to pick Adam's school trousers which had its zip repaired. Then rushed home just before my maid, Tumi came to clean up the house. While she was doing her things, sempat lagi I lari sekejap to deliver some orders to Kak Nafisah and gave her some tips to make homemade bread ;-)
At about 5.45pm, when Tumi was done with her work..we all went to have nasi lemak (yummy). Then sent my forever hungry girl, Tasha off for her Biology class...Oh my, that girl really eats a alot!
Huhh! Baru terasa penat..Now I think I deserve a good massage..before another long day tomorrow! Meoooww...
Alhamdulillah, she made it to UITM to do Business Studies...as she had wished to. I'm ok when she decided to turn down another offer to do matrix programme far north in Perlis. Not so much because of the distance..but because I knew she didn't want to do accountancy. Dia pun figure phobia macam her mom ;-)and that's alright!
Having planned my itineraries well, I have managed to do so much today and am so impressed with myself. First thing in the morning, we went to do her medical check-up at Kajang Medical Centre and paid only RM60 for the whole procedure including X-ray which took us less than an hour!! I thought it was gonna be longer and cost me more than a hundred ringgit...
Then, off we go to buy her other things...like the sports attire, her shoes, the lingeries, brooches for her shawls, a pair of jeans, shirts, etc. etc. Saved some there and spent much more here...sigh ** that's life..
Quickly drove to Standard Chartered to pay my credit card bill, and stopped by at my tailor to pick Adam's school trousers which had its zip repaired. Then rushed home just before my maid, Tumi came to clean up the house. While she was doing her things, sempat lagi I lari sekejap to deliver some orders to Kak Nafisah and gave her some tips to make homemade bread ;-)
At about 5.45pm, when Tumi was done with her work..we all went to have nasi lemak (yummy). Then sent my forever hungry girl, Tasha off for her Biology class...Oh my, that girl really eats a alot!
Huhh! Baru terasa penat..Now I think I deserve a good massage..before another long day tomorrow! Meoooww...
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